Choosing Grace

SRC Prefect Jasmine reflects on the power of giving people the benefit of the doubt and how choosing understanding over frustration can make us feel lighter.

Each week, our students share their insights with their peers in Assembly.

I am nowhere near perfect. I can be impatient. I can be quick to comment. I say the wrong things at the wrong time. I frequently find myself getting frustrated over small, insignificant things and jumping to conclusions.

The slow car in front of me. Someone being short with me. Someone doing something a different way than I would.

The other day I was procrastinating on TikTok when I should have been studying, and I came across a video that really stuck with me. It was about giving people the benefit of the doubt.

I know it sounds like just another throwaway cliché parents and teachers use, like "think before you act" or "take a deep breath first".

But I've been thinking about it, and I've realised how much impact giving people the benefit of the doubt can actually make.

Think about that slow car in front of you when you're in a rush to get to a friend's house. Think about the person who's been rude or snappy lately. Maybe that driver is driving home their newborn baby for the first time. Maybe they're nervous. Maybe they're exhausted. Maybe that friend has just found out their mum is sick. Maybe they're overwhelmed. Maybe they're just trying to hold it together.

Getting frustrated with that slow driver won't mean you get anywhere faster. All it will do is ruin your mood. And then what? You arrive at your friend's house already irritated. Already carrying something that was never really yours to carry in the first place.

The moment you stop assuming the worst in people, you start feeling lighter yourself. A lot of the time, the story we create in our heads about someone else is completely incorrect. We fill in the gaps with frustration or annoyance when we have no idea what's going on.

And the weird thing is, those assumptions don't just affect how we see other people. They affect how we feel for the rest of the day. One small moment, a short comment, someone doing something differently, someone not replying to a message, suddenly becomes this thing we carry around with us. But it doesn't have to.

Sometimes giving someone the benefit of the doubt is as simple as deciding that maybe there's more to the situation than what we can see in that moment. Maybe there's a reason. Maybe there's a story we don't know.

And even if we're wrong, even if they were just being mean for the sake of it, nothing bad happens. If we're right, we've given someone a little more understanding, a little more grace, and we haven't let it ruin our own mood.

I'm still working on this. I still get impatient. I still complain about small things. But lately, I've been trying to catch myself in those moments and question whether the story I'm telling myself about someone else is actually fair.

So next time, before I jump to conclusions, I'm trying to choose to give people the benefit of the doubt.