Permission to Be Human

Kiara (Year 11) addressed Senior School Assembly reflecting on authenticity, self-acceptance and the courage to embrace our humanity.

Each week our student leaders share their insights with their peers in Assembly.

To be human is to feel – to feel strongly and deeply. Our existence is quite literally dictated by our thoughts and feelings, and yet so many people find it necessary to apologise for them. As if your existence is considered anything other than a gift.

In a world where every comment, every look and every thought is scrutinised, it's so easy to feel inadequate. But the most important thing to understand is that no one else can ever dictate who you are. Your identity is not defined by others' perceptions of you, no matter how much other people try to tell you who you are. You do not fit into a box or a perfect mould, you're messy, and confusing and wonderful. That is what it is to be human. When you give yourself the permission to accept who you are, that is when you grow. Never apologise for that.

My three older brothers truly embody this notion of being unapologetically themselves in all walks of life. They have zero concern when sharing their unique views with me, something that I found quite interesting during my recent Trial examination period – the most stressful time of my secondary school existence.

So, roughly 20 minutes before walking into my first English paper, I received this text from my eldest brother: "Good luck today, soldier. Actually, you don't need luck … it's easy".

I'm not sure about you, but I've never left an English exam thinking that it was easy. In fact, I typically leave wondering what on earth my argument actually was. Hint: I never really know.

He then followed this by saying "Everything is temporary and meaningless, so do not stress about anything".

Now the thing you need to know about my brother is that he cares deeply about things he loves and tends to dismiss things he views as unimportant. And even though his messages were somewhat … disparaging, that's his way of showing support and affection.

He is unapologetic with his views and thoughts, and whilst on the surface his comments seem odd, they show me that he supports me; that I am not alone in this.

This highly unique form of support definitely stems from my dad, a man who is authentically himself in every situation. In addition to my brother's message, my dad texted me, saying "You need to trust your brain. You know the stuff, just let your brain do its work and don't overthink". After my exam, I replied to him to tell him that despite trusting my brain, it was my hand that was my ultimate downfall, becoming sore to the point of numbness and making my writing practically illegible.

While these messages may seem somewhat … odd, they encapsulate the authenticity of my family through their unique way of showing support. The words themselves are irrelevant. The way my family chooses to show their encouragement is irrelevant. What matters is the comfort I get from knowing that I am surrounded by people who love and care and think about me, unapologetically in their own way.

The reason I am saying this is because every person in this room thinks and feels in their own way. It's what makes us human. No two people are the same, and yet we're constantly apologising for being ourselves, repressing parts of our identity to fit into someone else's mould. And that's a lonely feeling.

We are all human. We all think, feel, imagine. Like my brothers, we all care in our own ways, and that's what gives us the ability to become unapologetically ourselves. Accepting who we are is the key to growth and no one but you gets to decide who you are. So stop investing your energy into people who try to contain you. You need to give more acceptance to who you are. Trust in yourself and the person you have become. Because when you give yourself permission to be exactly who you are – all your flaws, your talents, your dreams – that is when you can grow and flourish.

Don't be afraid to be human. Don't let others decide who you are. Trust yourself. Love yourself. And never apologise for being you.