Be Unapologetically You

Isabel, Creative Arts Co-Captain, encourages us to have the courage to let go of the past, embrace our uniqueness, and be ourselves, unapologetically.

Each week, our student leaders share their insights with their peers in Assembly.

When I was in Year 5, I was told very straightforwardly by a boy my age that nobody could ever have a crush on me, because my nose was too big. This stuck with me for a long time, as it was the first time I realised that there were people out there who thought it necessary to voice their disapproval of the way I looked, and were willing to tell me straight up that it was a liability to my person.

It was as if suddenly I was aware of my face. After realising this boy – Fred, that’s right, name drop – was not the only one who believed my nose was one of my disadvantages, my first savings goal became the price of a nose job. How sad, and dramatic, like everything else in 2018. It was only last year when I looked in the mirror, at my giant nose, and finally thought to myself: Who cares? Most likely, you haven’t even noticed the size of my nose until now that I've pointed it out, and if you have, then congratulations on your observation. This speech, however, is not about my nose, it’s about letting go of the weight that others’ opinions can leave with us.

Why worry what others think of the way you dress, the way you do your hair, the way you laugh? The question is, are you happy with yourself? If you are, then why do you care what others think? It is a part of the human condition to want to be liked, it’s a natural part of life, but, if people voice their own negative opinions – so what? Life does in fact go on. The sun will set and rise again, so be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.

To be okay with people not liking you is to have a highly rewarding mindset. But understand that there is a difference between a mindset that disregards others' opinions altogether and a mindset that lets go of unnecessary anxieties regarding the future or the past.

I will personally admit that dwelling on the past is one of my – and many others’ – specialties, so much so that sometimes I can't sleep or focus. Sometimes, I simply cannot let go of it. The harsh reality is you can only control your reaction. You can only control what you say, what you do, how you respond. Far too often we let other people's words affect us far more than they should – and if they were intended to offend – then find yourself some new friends – but remember it says a whole lot more about that person who says it than it does about you.

If this hypothetical person is talking doody about you or to you – instead of saving for a nose job – I advise you to take pity on this person, for, if they are that mean to you, imagine how mean they are to themselves. Be kind to them. It’s incredibly difficult, yet liberating to have grace to rise above it and be the bigger person.

As the saying goes – you only live once. That is a total of one lifetime to be unapologetic for who you are. Spend less time dwelling on things you cannot change, and start letting go of things that weigh you down. Live in the moment of now. Your future self will thank you.

This is an edited version of Isabel’s Assembly speech.