Learning the Language of Friendship

In a world where social dynamics are growing increasingly complicated, our Junior School is equipping its students with essential friendship skills through an innovative, evidence-based program.

Year 4 teachers, Ms Kate Bouterakos and Ms Vicki Burkett, have integrated the URSTRONG Friendology curriculum into their International Baccalaureate Primary Years Programme (PYP) Who We Are Unit of Inquiry, thus building a strong foundation for healthy relationships.

According to URSTRONG, its approach creates a common language of friendship among children, teachers, and parents. This common language has become evident throughout Term 1 as our students explored a progressive series of concepts designed to build both self-awareness and interpersonal skills. The journey began with the ‘Inner Ninja’ session, where students learned self-compassion techniques to manage uncomfortable feelings, put things in perspective and ease worries.

From this new understanding of self-regulation, the students progressed to practical skills for making new friends, understanding friendship ‘truths’ and identifying the qualities of healthy relationships using techniques such as the 'Friend-o-Meter' – a visual tool that helps children distinguish between healthy and unhealthy friendships. This helps the students learn to spend most of their time in what is called the ‘Healthy Zone’ of friendships, characterised by respect, trust, fun, and happiness.

A particularly useful component focused on what is termed 'Friendship Fires' – the program's terminology for conflict resolution. Students learned step by step approaches to resolving disagreements, responding to both positive and negative reactions, and offering genuine apologies.

"The Friendology project helped me know how to stop ‘Friendship Fires’," shares Year 4 student, Lily. "It helped me identify when an incident is a ‘Mean-on-Purpose’ situation or a ‘Friendship Fire’. I learnt to use a quick comeback and report problems to an adult if I need to." This distinction that Lily is referring toproved especially valuable in teaching the girls to stand up for themselves in a kind and respectful way.

Throughout the term, Ms Bouterakos and Ms Burkett adapted their teaching to suit the material. "Each week, we had a new focus," Ms Bouterakos explains. "This was sometimes taught in our individual classes and sometimes together as a cohort. Scenarios were explored that were relevant to the Year 4 cohort so that we could get a shared understanding of how to respectfully resolve issues and maintain healthy friendships."

The program addressed specific challenges relevant to this age group, including feeling worried, how to handle situations when friends are not getting along, the problem of 'ditching' friends, and how to respond to 'copycats’. The conclusion was a 'Kind and Strong' session, which brought the concepts together before the students shared their final projects with their younger Year 3 peers and guests.

Remi captures the essence of the program particularly well: "I learned that it's not just about showing off stuff that's special to you, it's also about the meaning of friendships," she says.

According to Ms Bouterakos and Ms Burkett, the URSTRONG curriculum aligns naturally with the Wenona Junior School’s application of the PYP and its ultimate goal - to create “a place of welcome, wisdom, and wonder where all students feel heard, respected, and included".