Comparison is the Thief of Success

Community and Service Learning Prefect, Alice, reflects on the impact of comparison and the importance of recognising our own successes while celebrating others.

Each week, our student leaders share their insights with their peers in Assembly.

Society constantly pits us against one another, and yes, I am aware that this is no new revelation to us, as young women. I am not the first person to say this, nor will I be the last. Although we are constantly reminded that comparison is the thief of joy and that we should all aspire to be 'girls' girls', these ideas are often promoted as mere aesthetics rather than genuine values. As a result, it can be difficult to understand how to overcome feelings of inadequacy and truly practise what we preach. I have spent a lot of time thinking about this—perhaps because I have also spent a lot of time comparing myself to others.

In doing so, I noticed that I was so focused on what other people were doing that I either fell behind or was driven solely by competition, striving to be comparable to them. This made any success I did achieve unfulfilling because I wasn’t doing it for myself.

Trust me, I am a very competitive person, so this mindset was not productive at all. Now, I am trying to reframe my thinking to prevent comparison, and I hope you can do the same. Instead of viewing other people’s success as something that diminishes our own, we need to acknowledge that success isn’t confined to one person.

Personally, I find success far more fulfilling and enjoyable when shared with others. There are so many different areas in life and plenty of room to succeed. Take hockey, for example. If a teammate scores a goal in the first half and I score in the second, my goal is no less valid or beneficial to the team just because it came later. The same principle applies to a defender—her role isn’t to score goals, so her success cannot be measured against that of the strikers.

This constant game of comparison means that not only do we undervalue our successes, but in some cases, we don’t even recognise them because we are too focused on others. A defender might not acknowledge her own achievement in preventing goals simply because she didn’t contribute to the scoreboard. So perhaps comparison isn’t just the thief of joy—it is the thief of success.

If we apply this to No grit, no pearl, our grit—the effort we put in—must be for ourselves, to achieve something we truly want, while also allowing us to acknowledge and celebrate the grit and determination of others. In doing so, we can all appreciate each other’s pearls.

So, let this year be one of recognising your own worth so that you can celebrate others' victories alongside your own. A party isn’t fun if there’s only one person there, and pearls look so much better when they form part of a string. Now, I must apply this to my own life, as difficult as it may be. Believe me, girls, I’m really trying. So, if you ever catch yourself comparing yourself to others, know that we all do it—acknowledging that is half the battle. You’ve got this.